Finding Contentment

I was lucky to attend a small private school for my Jr. high years. I was lucky because (in addition to other things) Louisa Dalton had few friends to choose from --and spent much of her time with me. Louisa was her Daddy's girl and much like him. She was quiet and thoughtful. She was concise in speech and writing. Her patience was a spiritual gift, but it benefited me.
There were days I remember feeling emotional and restless. Louisa would sit outside with me at lunch and let me ramble on about my "larger-than-life-drama" and smile...not a knowing smile, or even a "you're so silly" smile --just a "I'm pleased to be with you" kind of smile. As I finished she'd adjust her glasses with her shoulder and point out the colors on the Y mountain so close in front of us.

When I received my patriarchal blessing on my 16th birthday, I was promised contentment if I was willing to follow all the programs and principles established by the Lord for His children. In just that one word I knew that God knew me and my heart.

I now have a dramatic middle-schooler of my own. I also mother four others who vary in their emotional, physical, and spiritual needs every day. There are times I still feel restless. Sometimes it's when I daily gather five pairs of dirty socks from around the main floor. Sometimes it's while bleaching the tub for the third time in 30 minutes after three rounds of "shark-infested waters" courtesy of my youngest. Sometimes it's while struggling to stay alert while reading my scriptures (it doesn't matter what time of day it is). But the disquiet is different than it used to be. I am learning to "adjust my glasses" and change my focus.

When I allow my limited perspective to be altered through Christ's view of me, and my worth as a mother and wife, His grace(His gift) (just like Louisa's did all those years ago) can soften my nature and soothe my soul.

And for just a few minutes I Know what charity feels like... (until I wander into the master bathroom to find a box of cereal dumped on the floor and a some large piece of a broken light fixture set nicely on the counter by an anonymous friend --for me to find after they have gone to school).

It's crazy to recognize once again the blessing of a name. The little daughter whom I named Louisa Grace--before knowing why it would be such an imperative and lasting reminder to my heart to keep striving for peace.

For those hoping to do some reflecting on the topic --I highly recommend this book.