What Fools These Mortals Be

Abbie is not pleased to have completed her 5th grade play.

Queen Titania and the little changeling boy (the doll Millie has named "baby Jesus")
She is in her element while performing. She wishes the practices (held during school sometimes even during math) could have gone on forever. Her recent portrayal of Titania (the Fairy Queen) in "A Midsummer Night's Dream" was lovely. She had good diction and elocution. She showed leadership over the wandering fairies, and had a believable affinity for the foam-constructed-donkey-headed boy.

"Me thought I was enamored of an...."
I'm afraid the magic of the theater is in this girl of mine. She has been mourning since the show ended. When I was in 5th grade, we also performed this Shakespearean play, and I was fair Helena. Abbie and I had a good time memorizing her lines together.

I had been asked to help backstage --manage props, help get the fairies on when it was their turn...but those girls had their scene changes and everyone else's down cold. It was quickly apparent that the last thing they needed was yet another female manager. So I came back out and sat with my ever drooling friend, SkyMax. We enjoyed the show, as did Sam. He surprised me and our neighbors by his loud and intermittent guffaws.

Always a good problem solver, Abbie brought a pillow to lay on while awaiting her next cue. What's more important than comfort?
Thanks to Grandma, Susie, Gracee, Dad, Sam, Millie, Max, and Zach for their support.

With Miss Cottrell (Abbie's 1st grade teacher)--come all the way from Aspen Elementary.
Ahh --Viva la Theater'!

Today's Going to be My Lucky Day

I'm trying to use the power of suggestion in my favor today.

I've had some recent stormy weather. The cloud cover has been heavy enough that I've struggled to find the silver lining.

But ...Today is "a new day...with no mistakes in it."(Anne of Green Gables)

Sam has been peaceful for 4 days straight. Millie has a slew of new (hand-me-down) toys and is busy imagining. The toys have already been initiated to the tub playground.

"Singin' in the bathtub.."

"Arghh!"
I've talked to both of my sisters who are good at pep talks (and have to reprimand their kiddies just like I have to mine). The SUN is out and my full recycling container is sitting at the curb on time. I have lovely classical music going on in my iPod. SkyMax is frequently on his knees-- rocking back and forth (without encouragement). Another term ends at Timp Academy, (yea!) and Abbie performs her "Midsummer Night's Dream" today -- in a Saver's costume reconstructed by Grandma.

The Diva. (Aug. 2008)

I can do hard things. I can do good things. Happy St. Patrick's Day! "Don't Worry --Be Happy."

Hmmm...on the Word of Wisdom edge... Should I pick this battle?

Deathbed Repentance

Last Saturday I could feel a sore throat coming on. Sunday I was flu-ish. Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday, I prided myself on being a woman of strength. I was ill, but accomplishing much, and being a fine example of a devoted wife and mother.

When I woke up Thursday morning, something was different. I knew I was going to die. I had Zach look up the closest Insta-Care, and find out when it opened. At 8:03am I pulled into it's parking lot and tried to gather the energy to walk into the building. As I reached for my purse and my Kleenexes, another car pulled up beside mine. My dormant competitive spirit caught at the remains of a dwindling flame, and I tottered (head-heavy (it weighed nearly 150 lbs. I think)) with as much speed as I could muster. I exhibited goal-directed behavior as I made my way to the check-in desk (why do they need to put it so many miles from the entrance?) Within a half hour I was being sent to the pharmacy with a prescription for an antibiotic to kill my double infection.

I lay on my deathbed the rest of the day. Susie took Millie to school, Grandma brought them all home. Schuyler took some good naps, I moaned and listened "This American Life." By the time Star returned from work I told him that he needed to let me go. It was my time to die...he needed to relinquish his hold on me and have faith. He refused.

So, Friday I began my repentance process. As most mothers (I hope) can attest, when they are not at their post -- not only is much left undone, but the regular messes seem to have multiplied and replenished in awesome fury. I made some progress, but the house demons and laundry proved fairly powerful.

Terrific places to sleep and play --under tables, in glow-domes...
In addition, someone had let the poor dog out for a few minutes and forgotten about him. The animal control drove by and gave him a happy ride to the shelter for the night. $80, an appointment for "fixing" and vaccinations later, we returned J. to his kennel with extra treats and apologies.

Happy to be home?
Then I stuffed a pretty lame birthday present in a lunch bag, buckled Millie in again, and raced her to party. After several minutes of driving, I could hardly breathe. My hives started in earnest, I sneezed too many times to count, and wondered about my capacity to be the one responsible for a dog that I am so allergic to. The Suburban received a good cleaning on Saturday along with the house and the garage.

Praise to modern medicine and antibiotics that relieve symptoms of discomfort, but if I were dead, I would no longer have such prolific piles that need attending to.

Please forgive me for having such thoughts (more necessary repentance on the way).

The Visit and Resulting Concern for my Future

Monday night, March 9th, A visitor came calling --late at night. She joked, "Happy Birthday, Stef."

"I thought about you on your birthday, and every day since, but since you came to my house late, I thought maybe this would work as well."

I smile. Blankly.

In an effort to keep the conversation going, I ask, "Was I supposed to come to your house?"

She laughs, "Remember how you came to wish me a be-lated birthday (which was just great!) and so I just thought I'd kind of tease about that..." she seems uncomfortable.

"Anyway, so I made this...it's not nearly as yummy as brownies, but..."

I'm wondering, if she likes brownies so much, I wonder why she didn't make those...maybe she didn't have the ingredients. Does she think my favorite treat is brownies?

"Oh well," I say, "This looks wonderful. Thank you for thinking of me."

"You're welcome. And you can keep the lovely baking dish." I look at it, surprised. "That's so nice of you. Are you sure?"

"It's yours." Her face shows a bit of confusion.

"Oh." I laugh. "I wouldn't even have remembered." She laughs harder.

She hands me a pink envelope. "I chose a special card. I think you should open it right now."

"Okay." I smile. Then in trying to figure out how to keep Maxler's hands from ripping it, I hand her back her cake.

The card pictures an elderly woman in horn-rimmed glasses looking wide-eyed and a bit ruffled. She says, "My memory is SO bad..." An unseen person responds, "How bad IS it?"
Open the card. The woman shows even more confused. She says,"How bad is WHAT?"
My friend has written, "see what we have to look forward to?"

Oh dear. We laugh a little more. I recognize that this seems a very fitting card, but still don't pull off any good punch lines. After she leaves, I return to Zach in the kitchen. "Did we bring her something in this pan?"

"Yeah Mom. Don't you remember? A couple of weeks ago we took her a whole pan of brownies and you had us all sing to her."

Oh dear.

I've Had a Birthday --Shout Hooray!

In my ears are tiny white ear buds --very different from the sponge covered blue earphones that came with the walk man I received 20 years ago. It was so exciting to have portable music when I was 15. I had big plans to go running with FM100 blaring irreverently in my teenage ears. The thing proved so heavy however that I dared not jog very far without keeping my hand on my new-fangled device. It pulled my pockets so low, I feared losing my Waterford blue sweat pants.

I met Jed and Jayne for my birthday lunch. With great anticipation I handed over my tiny package that held future dreams of orchestras, podcasts and audio books. By today at 3pm Jed had it fully loaded. We met like spies in the Orem Library parking lot for the return exchange. This evening, after Visiting Teaching and piano student shuttling, I finally got the chance to handle my new toy. Amazing. As I made incredibly delicious grilled cheese sandwiches (Star is at bishopric meetings) I kept one "bud" in my ear (just like my cool Jaynie). And then as I wandered into the family room and mud room to tidy up, I allowed myself the full surround sound experience. I think I heard myself audibly sigh --several times --Ahhh--contentment captured.

Plus I even get to listen to General Conference and "This American Life."
What rapture!
This may just be what the doctor ordered.
Sanity -- here I come.