Is there anything, ANY THING, more glorious than a warm Autumn day?
For the past few days it has been just chilly enough to have scripture study next to the fire in the early morning, and then open the screen door and widows in the afternoon. The crickets are serenading slowly, the sound of children's voices fill the air.
The golden light coming through the windows changes the whole house. In all this glory I find myself a bit restless. I want to bask in it -- sit on the porch swing, nuzzle the baby, and sing -- and yet I have this almost haunting awareness that it won't last. And it makes me anxious.
I wish to capture it in a bottle and breathe it in, just a few whiffs at a time throughout the rest of the year. I start feeling like Emily in "Our Town" by Thorton Wilder. Every day holds so much wonder -- I can't take it all in.
How quickly all of this parenting and sistering and daughtering will pass. I want to somehow appreciate the gift of it all.
Can I have the perspective that will keep it all near -- and then allow me to let it all go?
Oh these five senses of mine! This -- my joyful Hymn of Praise!
4 comments:
i'm with you. i don't know when i've enjoyed fall so much as this year. could be the new neighborhood. could be the warm weather. could be the grand old elms in my driveway burning slowly through their leaves.
i think i have always distanced myself from the beauties of autumn because i know it won't last. i used to clam-up around transfers as a missionary so that i wouldn't appear to be hurt by the shuffling of friends. i didn't want to sever any attachment too great. but i think this is the first year that i've let myself fully embrace this season in all its fleeting glory. it doesn't help knowing what comes after the leaves are gone and the crickets are silent. but i'm willing, this time, to love unabashedly, and i know i'll hurt deeper when the snows come.
but i have next year. and the year after that. and those elms aren't going anywhere, as far as i know.
Your post reminds me of dandelion wine too and the idea of bottling summer in weekly vintages and drinking it little bits throughout the rest of the year.
Breathe it deeply now. So deep you want to burst. And then suck it in some more.
That's how I feel about baby's breath. You can't get enough.
There is something intoxicating about a baby's breath. In fact, about every piece of them... That feeling is best caught in the facial expression Jaynie makes, where she has to bite her bottom lip to keep from squeezing those chubby babies too hard.
(Parley does it now with Julian too --so cute)
i'm glad you think that's sweet, stef. i've always been just a little afraid for my babies when i see that expression on jayne. i AM afraid when i see it on parley, and i jump to prevent the execution of the thought cloud that is so visible above his little head.
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