Friday, October 31, 2008

Oh Boy!

I saw Zach yesterday during his lunch hour (I was at the school to drop off a lunch for Sam (don't tell his Dad or Dr. Wells that I did that). He was happy and busy with friends. He waved to me and ran over to the car to say "hello."
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When he came home he got a phone call and headed into the den. He stopped to ask if it'd be alright for him to set up instant messenger or create a face book account, since he doesn't have a cell phone to text with, and he'd been assigned to work with a partner on a "Jingle."

His classmate was worried that they weren't going to be able to work together with out those afore mentioned resources. I told him that he could talk to him on the home phone (he was doing so now) and that they'd get through this. He smiled. "My mom doesn't fell good about setting up face book," he said into that archaic device.

When I returned a few minutes later he was emailing back and forth on my yahoo.
After 30 minutes, he received another phone call. He came up to ask me if he could walk up to a friend's house -- they needed to talk. (What about the phone call they'd just had?) I reminded him of his imminent piano lesson. He returned a minute later and reported that Jacob would meet him, and the two of them could walk to his lesson together.

He returned after an hour. I asked, "How'd you do at Piano?" "Good." --The phone rings. He answers. It's for him. He starts wandering while he talks. He's laughing a lot. He's smiling and making jokes. "What is this?" I wonder. He makes another joke. "This must be a girl," I decide. I don't know how I feel about this.
Another minute of his pacing and smiling and plopping down on the couch in the living room (he never goes in there).

"Hey, Zackie?"
Into the phone,"just a minute... Yeah Mom?"
"Umm what are you doing?" (Probing parental question)
He comes in the kitchen with his hand over the receiver." I have to do Spanish assignment with a partner. And I don't have face book..."
"Okay" (I say hesitantly)
To the mystery friend, "My mom says I need to hurry."

Several minutes more. I'm searching my memory for how I felt in 7th grade. I'm pretty sure I talked to some boys on the phone. Some of those boy's parents seemed kind of strict. Hmmm.

"Hey, Zach?"
Into the phone,” My mom just called me, so that means she needs my help with something --gotta go. ----Yeah---See ya tomorrow."

Back in the kitchen he sighs, "Sheesh -- this is what I call a social homework day!"
"Uh-huh" I respond. "So...who is your partner for Spanish?"
"Oh that girl I was telling you about. She sure gets distracted easily. I kept trying to get her back on track so we could finish the homework, but she could just talk for ever."

"So mom, Jacob wants to have a late night for Halloween."
I'm trying to coax SkyMax to open wide for an oatmeal/carrot combo.
"You know, Mom, Jake and I really haven't been able to spend much time together."
"Are you saying you're not going to be celebrating with the family at all?"
He smiles and shakes his head a little, "Mo-om."
"Hey -- I'm still doing baby food around here. I'm not ready for you to spend your evenings on the phone and computer and then leave us on holidays."
He laughs. "Oh, Mama --you're so funny. …So can I tell him we're on?"

Oh Boy! I can feel it coming -- this adolescence thing.
"Something's comin,' don't know when....maybe tonight, maybe tonight."

7 comments:

J Wells said...

so i'd quote the same musical: "be cool [mom]"

the time is coming (has come) and while i know how gently you gather your chicks under your wing, you won't want to smoother or (heaven forbid) drive them away. i won't pretend to offer parenting advice to you (since i still take cues from you in that arena) but i do know what it is to be an adolescent boy.

zach is a good one, better than i was. he's not going to do anything bad with an instant messenger account of even facebook (facebook isn't myspace, by the way-- i know you've heard horror stories abt that). he just wants to explore these things with his friends. true, your boys have a tendency toward hyper focus, but you can set up regulations on time without coming across the bad guy. you just don't want him to resent you or feel he has to go somewhere else to get them or hide from you these things that aren't really harmful. i can never get back the time i wasted hiding from my dad, and when i think what i was hiding, it's laughable. and all i needed to do was explain it to him, but i ran away instead, rather than "disappointing" him. so instead of disappointing him, i injured him by being afraid of him.

am i explaining myself? zach is good boy. if it's just staying close to him, that's one thing. but if you're worried about his character, don't be.

Stefanie said...

Thanks. You're right. And I don't know what it's like to be a teenage boy. I'll try to "be cool." (I love that you always get my movie references).

jayne wells said...

Makes me scared of parenting adolescents and scared of what they'll be like after reading both of your post/comments!

morinsqueen said...

I smiled all the way through this one. It seems just the other day I was having similar experiences and now they are almost ancient history. I think it's so great that you have such a wonderful sense of humor about parenting and share life's moments with the rest of us. Thank you.

Greg Wells said...

This is what I'm afraid of in this whole being a parent thing. The quality of the kids and how well they're going to whether these rights of passage aside... I just don't want it all to happen. I don't want these guys to grow up. I mean, I celebrate each little new thing they accomplish as excitedly as the next guy, but...when I step back and realize what it all means, I just don't like it.

That's why I don't let them buy new clothing. Jensen is still wearing his size 4's. Yes they are tight and uncomfortable. But, this way, I can keep him my little boy a little longer. So far it's working pretty well, I think.

Audrey claims the diapers are really not necessary though.

Stefanie said...

Ahh, Freg,

It can't have been that long ago that you and I were toting those brown velour(or something) couch cushions and that plastic dome light-- out onto the back lawn for a Midsummer Night's reading of Nancy Drew and the Hardy Boys.

That was the life wasn't it? And yet, can you imagine if we hadn't grown up? We'd never have met Zach or Jens and Audge. That would be such a tragedy. Growing up is just like Dad says, "bittersweet."

Anita Wells said...

Several of my 13 yr old Sunday School girls have facebook accounts (I think you have to be 13 to set one up, although you should double check, but that would at least be a reason to delay another 5 weeks) and it's fun to be their "friends" and see what they're up to. Can't believe you'll have a teenager soon (and then so will I!)
Anita