Training suggested: Early Childhood education, Library Science, Children's Lit., Art & Design (for school projects), Advertising & Marketing, Debate (for negotiations with small children), Psychology, Psychiatry, Nutrition, Homeopathy, Criminology, Lie Detecting, Seminary, Dermatology, Medicine, Dentistry, Relaxation Theories, Culinary Arts, Marriage and Family Science, Taxi service, Business, Finance, Social Work. (All are suggested, but in no way guarantee total success).
Responsiblities include, but are in no way limited to: laundry 6 days/week, dinners 7day/week (unless you boycott some weekend nights), Parent Teacher Conferences every other month, grocery shopping, budgeting, driving the entire length of Utah county, sweeping a zillion/day, vacuuming, flushing toilets every time/passed, refereeing, child care 24/7.
Benefits include: hugs, smiles, throw-up: down, on, by, clean shirts and carpets, love letters, original artwork dedications, compliments, frequent date nights, more PBS than you thought possible.
Any takers?
Send your application to mom.of.sam.@questionable sanity.help.org.please
If, on your first day on the job, you give a certain child an ultimatum about staying home from school if he won't get his clothes on, and he smiles and says, "Dad said that to me last week. He said I'd have to stay in my room all day -- but can I come down for dinner and home evening?"
Don't show that you're flustered. He watches for that.
7 comments:
no, thanks.
Ah Man --- this was what I was afraid of. Nobody wanted it at our girl's weekend either.
There's got to be somebody that knows what to say to that little guy.
Surely someone wants to take that on full time.
ha ha. i've got moments i'm ready to find a sub here too. i'm sure he'd love a day away at aunt anita's if we could coordinate it!
actually, that was anita posting. i don't know why i was signed in as eliza... did you mention that said job responsibility means nothing is your own anymore??
I am so glad to read that I am not the only mom who has to flush the toilet for her kids. *Every* Time I walk by! They're just too, too busy to flush? I don't understand it.
What a resume. I always knew you were c-c-capable!
Care--
Those were just suggestions for tools that might prove handy, not, unfortunately, the training I've mastered.
Rachel --
If it makes you feel better, it's not just little boys that have that tendency.
--It probably doesn't make you feel any better. There's a lot of flushing either way.
Post a Comment